The Heart First

January 25, 2012
Nichole Sanderson

I’m pummeled by imposters
Lord, I know You’re not a scoffer
So why are my fears so close to convincing me
That You won’t really love
Unless I prove my offered place above is well-deserved
Mark my page for every time I’ve done, followed and served
Making sure I’m pure in every outward way
But You see through the parts I fail to play
And the roles that can’t bring relief anyway

It’s in my heart first
That You work to will and do
All the good and righteousness You knew from the start
It’s my heart
I have no fruitfulness apart from You
So I trust You’ll see me fully through
To be whatever You ask me to
And the end will be more beautiful
Than I could ever conjure

It’s my heart first
That You mold like clay
From glory to glory every day
And carry to completion
‘til the coming of your Son

When I’m undone, it’s my heart first
That You whisper to in quietness
To tell me of Your faithfulness
Although I don’t know Your plans
I’m in trustworthy hands

In my heart
There’s a calloused cover
With fractures I can’t number
But You tear my husk asunder
To reveal the flesh underneath
Lord, it bleeds
And so I plead
Please don’t send me out
Without binding up these wounds
Please relieve my doubts
restore and renew
Wrap me in Your cloud
Drive away my drought
Fill this thirsty ground
Because in my heart
There’s a calloused cover
With fractures I can’t number
But Your love tears my husk asunder
To reveal the flesh underneath
Lord, it bleeds
And so I plead
Please don’t send me out
Without calming me throughout
Reprieve me I’m unsound
Surround and soothe
See me through what You’ve allowed
Be the peace that I’m without
And come to me soon

You care so much You would,
Even before the hereafter,
That my hurts be cured, quiet, and whole
It’s this heart You’re after
It’s this heart You stole
When I seek Your face
All the rest will fall in place
And flow like a river
with Your arms around me
These worries wither

So let Your life in me reside
Let Your truth in me abide
In this brokenness dwell inside
In my heart first
Where You work to will and do
All the good and righteousness You knew from the start
In my heart
I have no fruitfulness apart from You
So I trust You’ll see me fully through
To be whatever You ask me to
And the end will be more beautiful
Than I could ever conjure
In the meantime
Take this calloused cover
With fractures I can’t number
Tear my husk asunder
To reveal the flesh underneath
Lord, it bleeds
And so I plead
Please don’t send me out
Without binding up these wounds
See me through what You’ve allowed
and come to me soon

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